Verses of Refrain – An Ascetic’s Thoughts

Sri. Sridharan Kidambi

Bharthruhari’s Vairagya Sathakam 

1. Cūḍottaṁsitacandracārukalikācañcacchikhābhāsvaro, 

Līlādagdhavilolakāmaśalabhaḥ Śreyodaśāgre Sphuran; 

Antaḥsphūrjadapāramohatimiraprāgbhāramuccāṭayan, 

Śvetaḥ Sadmāni Yogināṁ Vijayate Jñānapradīpo Haraḥ. 

Translation:

As easily as a moth is burned, Siva quells passion, 

He, enters the dark cave-like hearts of yogis anon, 

He spreads light of hope in those yogis, meditating, 

With the crescent moon behind His head beaming! 

 2. Bhrāntaṁ Deśamanekadurgaviṣamaṁ Prāptaṁ Na Kiñcit Phalaṁ, 

Tyaktvā Jātikulābhimānamucitaṁ Sevā Kṛtā Niṣphalā; 

Bhuktaṁ Mānavivarjitaṁ Paragṛheṣvāśaṅkayā Kākavat, 

Tṛṣṇe Jṛmbhasi Pāpakarmapiśune Nādyāpi Santuṣyasi. 

Translation:

Until I was tired and disgusted, I visited mean places 

Shamelessly, did I enter houses to eat like an aimless 

Raven. Unmindful of my noble birth and out of greed, 

I have served unworthy men, a victim of fate indeed! 

3. Utkhātaṁ Nidhiśaṅkayā Kṣititalaṁ Dhmātā Girerdhātavo, 

Nistīrṇaḥ Saritāṁ Patirnṛpatayo Yatnena Santoṣitāḥ; 

Mantrārādhanatatpareṇa Manasā Nītāḥ Śmaśāne Niśaḥ, 

Prāptaḥ Kāṇavarāṭako'pi Na Mayā Tṛṣṇe! Sakāmā Bhava. 

Translation:

Driven by greed, I mined for wealth, cross seas afar, 

In search of riches, I melted mountain rocks. What for? 

I turned to awesome chants and charms and gave up, 

O greed, the tormentor! When will you on me give up? 

 4. Khalālāpāḥ Soḍhāḥ Kathamapi Tadārādhanaparair- 

Nigṛhyāntarbāṣpaṁ Hasitamapi Śūnyena Manasā; 

Kṛtau Vittastambhapratihatadhiyāmañjalirapi, 

Tvamāśe! Moghāśe! Kimaparamato Nartayasi Māṁ. 

Translation:

In tears I bore insults and to mean creatures I bowed, 

I laughed like a recluse and was like a fool in a crowd, 

O greed, the tormentor! Are you done with me dear? 

What more you have in store for me, it is not yet clear? 

 5. Amīṣāṁ Prāṇānāṁ Tulitabisinīpatrapayasāṃ, 

Kṛte Kiṁ Nāsmānhirvigalitavivekairvyavasitaṃ 

Yadāḍyānāmagre Draviṇamadanissaṁjñamanasāṁ, 

Kṛtaṁ Mānavrīḍairnijaguṇakathāpātakamapi. 

Translation:

Think of it, this fleeting life is like a pearly drop of dew, 

Sliding down a lotus leaf, to begin life in the pond anew, 

Unmindful of this age old truth, we have been praising 

Mean, arrogant wealthy men of pride, prone to sinning. 

Sridharan Kidambi, born in 1938 at Chittoor (Now in Andhra Pradesh), took his M. A. Degree in Economics from Vivekananda College in 1962. He was a research scholar of the Madras University for two years. He is interested in a wide range of subjects like astronomy, poetry, comparative religion, philosophy, classical music, lyrics etc. Besides Tamil, his mother tongue and English, the academic language, he is familiar with Telugu, Sanskrit, and Russian.